Perspective

In 10 weeks my sister will run a half marathon.  I will be there to support her, but I will also be working on achieving one of my own personal goals–to run an entire 5K.  A dear friend has signed up to run the week previous with me in the Color Run, and we will all run together (for some time–they will go on after my paltry 3.1 miles are finished) the next week at the beach. 

Since this event all became finalized, I’ve been working, hard, to try to learn to run.  Today I hit a HUGE wall.  I’m slow, I have little endurance, and I’m frustrated. 

I’ve done LOTS of stuff that is hard…childbirth twice (almost died during one), finished doctorate with newborn while working full time, learned to embroider…I’m not afraid of working hard.  But this is different.  In all of the other HARD places I’ve been in my life, I could think or analyze or read my way to understanding how to do “it” better. 

Running, this is another whole kind of HARD.  I can’t THINK my way to easy.  My body hurts trying to do it well.  My mind is frustrated because there isn’t the ability to be instantly “good” at it. 

Yes, there are definitely positive side effects to my efforts…I’m losing weight, I “feel” good, and my body shape is changing.  But that’s just not good enough.  I see and think of my friends in real life and on Twitter who have this amazing ability to run…and I want that and know its just not within my reach…right now.

Encountering this roadblock has made me have to try to put this goal into some kind of different perspective…I just don’t quite know how to reframe it to experience success yet.

Until then I’ll hang my shoes for the day and try again…maybe.